Research Resources for Faculty

SSHRC Proposals: 41 Ways To Annoy the Committee

(with permission from Doug Peers — University of Calgary and SSHRC committee member)

The following list is taken from various submitted SSHRC applications:

  • Insist on flying business class.
  • Tell the committee that last year’s committee members were complete idiots
  • Claim that nobody has ever done anything vaguely related to your topic before.
  • Invent your own format for providing bibliographical information.
  • Elicit the committees sympathy with tales of how badly treated you are by your home institution.
  • Apply for money to work in an archive that burned down thirty years ago
  • Ask for an $8000 notebook when all you need is a simple word processor
  • Use the section on extenuating circumstances to bemoan your heavy teaching load.
  • Talk about how badly under funded you have been.
  • Tell the committee all kinds of things about yourself which were not requested and which are not relevant to the application.
  • Do not include anything in your bibliography that has been published in the last ten years.
  • Misspell the names of your referees.
  • Ignore the rules on page length, margins and spacing.
  • Rely exclusively on your spell checker—there is considerable difference between public affairs and pubic affairs.
  • Show up before the same committee on three different applications (as principal investigator on one and co-investigator on two others).
  • Spread white-out liberally in the application.
  • Ignore grammar rules.
  • Avoid punctuation.
  • Identify the leading figure in the field as an “idiot”.
  • Double count publications in your CV.
  • List publications more than six years old in the CV section of the application.
  • Include a big name on your team but do not define her/his role.
  • Avoid paragraphs.
  • Fail to explain the reasons for your trips to various places or what you are looking for.
  • Handwrite part of the application.
  • Under publications, type “too many to list”.
  • Add up your budget incorrectly.
  • List Wikipedia as a publication.
  • Tell the committee that ethics reviews are a waste of time and irrelevant.
  • Use the application to carry on a polemical fight with your colleagues in other institutions.
  • Ask for $250,000 in total support.
  • Insist that you are waiting for the science to catch up with you.
  • Insist that there is a conspiracy (feminist, Marxist, right-wing, vegetarian, or all four) out there trying to get you—and then arrange for your external referees to back you up.
  • Justify your application to interdisciplinary studies on the basis that your colleagues in your discipline are hopelessly out of date.
  • Invent some new acronyms.
  • Keep submitting the same application without taking any notice of the previous committee’s comments.
  • Employ a graduate student to help cart books back and forth from the library.
  • Insist that you have nothing to learn from recent scholarship.
  • Use as many acronyms as you can but then change their spelling part way through the application.
  • Dare the committee to reject you and thereby prove that they are a bunch of hide-bound bureaucrats doing Ottawa’s dirty work.
  • Put office furniture into your budget.

FASS Internal Research Awards

Faculty may apply to the AD Research for small awards to be used as matching funds for bridging and other small grants, or other research-related activities, in the $2500-$5000 range.

To apply: send a short description and budget to fass.research.ubco@ubc.ca

Approximately $25,000 of funding is available each year.

NB: Starting April 1st, the Fund takes applications through the fiscal year until funding is depleted, at which point the Fund is closed for the year.

Professors of Teaching may apply for a grant of up to $5000/year to support pedagogy research. Funds may be used to travel to conferences, attend workshops, hire a research assistant or any other research activities organized around pedagogy.

To apply: send a short description of activities and a budget to fass.research.ubco@ubc.ca

Faculty supervisors of undergraduate journals may apply for funding of up to $2500/year to support costs associated with journal production and launches.

To apply:  send a description of the journal and its budget to fass.research.ubco@ubc.ca


Grant Submission


Research Services at UBCO: General INformation Regarding research Finance

For questions concerning FASS research finance, please contact: Liliana Renteria Martinez: liliana.renteriamartinez@ubca.ca


Tools

  • RISe animal care ethics applications

Research Ethics Board (UBCO)

Maintaining currency on REB Certificates of Approval (COA): COAs are valid for one year from the date of approval. For ongoing projects involving human subjects and providing there have been no changes, please submit an application for renewal at least three weeks before the expiry date on your current certificate.

A reminder: If you are funded you must have your ethics certificate in place before your account will be opened.

Learn More

Graduate students involved in human subject research are now required to complete the TCPS Tutorial before an application is submitted to the UBC Okanagan BREB.

TCPS TUTORIAL >>

 

For other campus research services, including research finance, research IT support, and more, please visit the Office of the Vice-Principle Research website.

Contact

Alison Conway
Associate Dean, Research, Graduate and Postdoctoral Studies
alison.conway@ubc.ca
ASC 449
Colin McKay
Manager of Research, Graduate and Postdoctoral Studies
colin.mckay@ubc.ca
ASC 406
Jody Ainley
Assistant
jody.ainley@ubc.ca
250.807.9234
ASC 455